Escort Etiquette: 4 Rules Every Punter Must Learn

Thinking of hiring an escort? It pays to learn the correct etiquette — making a better experience for both you and your chosen lady.

Below are 4 rules every punter should learn before hiring a courtesan.

Starting with the obvious…


There is a misconception among some men that once an escort advertises her services, she is fair game for anything goes name-calling, lewd offers, and emails sans subject lines demanding simply, “Fuck me now

When you hire an escort, you are paying for her time.

Any sexual services provided are considered the cherry on top.

Now, let’s not be naive. These women may have sex with you (pretty likely if you keep your shit together and resist opening the door naked), but you’re going to have to show some respect first.

Be a gentleman.

Don’t objectify.

Avoid communicating only in primal, horny grunts and you will be well on the way to a good night.


Escorts go to great lengths to prepare for their clients, often in a hurry, and with the burden of perfection hanging over them.

If their standards slip, the reviews can be devastating.

Rightly so.

Their services do not come cheap.

To avoid the damning title of ‘Man Who Couldn’t Even Pay a Girl to Be With Him‘, here’s a good blueprint:

  1. Shower.
  2. Brush your teeth.

You should ensure that if you are calling an escort to your hotel room, it isn’t in a state of squalor.

While the ‘Porn Star Experience’ is popular with clients, a cesspit familiar with the Brutal Sex category on RedTube is not very popular with escorts.

If you can pay her fee, you can surely afford maid service.


The relationship is going to stay professional. Whether you like it or not.

Do not be offended when a lady takes your money, retreats to the bathroom and counts it. She is running a business, not a charity.

Before she can blow your mind with her mesmerising company, and [hopefully]many other talents, she has to ensure that you are not a fly-by-night troll.

Yes, they do exist.

If you are hiring an escort to your hotel room, expect her to call in advance to ensure that the room is actually yours – and that your identity matches.

There are steps a lady can take to avoid a 6th floor rendezvous with Jack The Ripper. You should be neither disheartened or offended if she heeds them.

Once you’ve met the lady, pay the agreed fees upfront. Avoid asking questions along the lines of, “How much extra for [wildly unexpected fetish]?”

This is something you negotiate through email or over the phone before meeting – not while she is waiting for you to take her coat.

Read Mia Monroe’s take on doing your homework to avoid disappointment.


Given that you are paying an escort for her time, it would be nice to think that a friendship might develop.

There’s nothing wrong with that.

A problem may arise when your perception of the friendship extends beyond professional, paid comfort and in to the realms of wanting her to be your wife, lover, ranting post and most trusted confidant.

At any waking hour. Even on a Sunday.

There are limits to the nature of any relationship you build with an escort.

It will save you headaches, heartaches and much more, to understand that it is her job to make you feel good – so that you become her regular client.

Overly needy clients cause problems.

You are paying for a personal bond on a professional basis. That’s the catch all.

Expect any more and you will be left disappointed.

* * *

And how about a fifth? A bonus tip…


There is nothing in the Holy Bible of Escorting that says a man has to tip an escort who he’s just paid hundreds of dollars.

But he’ll certainly be remembered for trying.

In the next post, 4 rules every escort must learn…

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